Sexologist Chantelle Otten on why she and Dylan Alcott go to therapy


Australia’s foremost intercourse professional Chantelle Otten says she has a standard relationship with Dylan Alcott – apart from one “weird” element.

Despite being in a job which accurately revolves round intercourse, Chantelle Otten says her intercourse life isn’t any totally different to most – nor does she really feel stress for it to be.

“I’m just a normal person who has a relationship,” she instructed “I’m not my own therapist, I’m not my partner’s therapist.

“I’m not ever going to come into a scenario saying that I know best here.”

It’s so regular that her and boyfriend, wheelchair tennis champion Dylan Alcott, go to {couples} therapy collectively.

“I’ve been very outspoken about how my partner and I try and be a couple who grows together and learns together,” Otten stated.

“We do therapy for that – it’s not sex therapy, it’s couples therapy, but I think that if I normalise that I go to therapy then hopefully other people can understand, ah well everyone needs help, it’s not abnormal to ask for help.”

The rise of her public profile as a sexologist mixed along with her romance with Alcott means there may be a whole lot of public curiosity of their relationship, one thing Otten admits is “a bit weird”.

“It’s a little bit strange for me, I’ve never asked to be well known in this way,” she stated.

“But I’m very, very grateful, because every single person that follows me and supports me and supports Dylan is helping change a lot of narratives and stigmas around not only healthy sexuality, but also around disability.”

‘I didn’t have intercourse schooling in any respect’

One of probably the most shocking particulars about Otten is that regardless of being certainly one of Australia’s foremost specialists on intercourse (she’s actually written the ebook on it along with her new launch, The Best Sex Ed You Never Had) her personal intercourse schooling rising up in Melbourne was missing.

“I went to a very strict Catholic school because I was a naughty girl and my parents were like, we’re going to send you to the most strictest Catholic school we can find,” Otten stated.

“I didn’t have sex education at all. I think we learnt about STIs and we learnt about babies being born but that’s it, it’s so crazy to me.”

Luckily Otten additionally grew up in a family with Dutch dad and mom who “always talked about sex”, nonetheless, it wasn’t till she was in her twenties that she discovered her profession path in psychosexual therapy.

She studied psychology as an undergraduate at college, but it surely solely was when Otten noticed a Ted Talk from world-renowned relationships professional and psychotherapist Esther Perel about infidelity that she even thought-about sexology a risk.

“I thought, who talks about sex? Because all my friends were going through troubles, we were all talking about it openly and honestly, but I knew a lot of people didn’t want to talk about it,” Otten stated.

Otten went to the Netherlands, the place she accomplished a European Society of Sexual Medicine diploma.

“I moved to Amsterdam and did my sexology degree there and tried to absorb as much as I could from a culture that knew better than ours did (about sex),” she stated.

After ending up her diploma, Otten moved again to Melbourne the place she opened her clinic treating sexual well being issues.

Within two years of opening the clinic went from being run by simply her, to Otten using 10 employees.

‘There was information that was missing’

Working as a sexologist Otten observed a worrying pattern amongst her purchasers – many merely didn’t know the fundamentals of intercourse.

“There was obviously a gap. There was information that was missing that was severely holding up their confidence, it was holding up progress for them, they felt really stuck. They didn’t know where to look for information,” she stated.

“They were also spending hundreds of dollars seeing me for therapy for stuff that I thought, we need to get somewhere to explain this in a much simpler way, so I can actually now work on your sexual concern and really progress you into the future without breaking the bank.”

It’s what impressed her to write a ebook on intercourse protecting all the things out of your genitals, physique picture, gender identification, totally different intercourse acts and sexual kinks.

“I just felt like this was missing,” Otten stated. “I felt like I needed to put my knowledge into this book to allow for a foundation for sex education.”

As for her finest intercourse tip?

“Always be curious, you never know what someone wants, you can never assume what someone wants or how someone feels,” Otten stated.

“So just be curious about everyone, ask questions, be a good listener, be an active listener and things will work out for you.”

The Best Sex Ed You Never Had is out there now. To learn an excerpt of her ebook, go to Body and Soul right here.

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